Star Wars Holiday Special

I was in half a mind about this. On the one hand, as a responsible citizen, if I don't tell you about this, you won't look it up and won't see it. On the other hand, as a responsible sci-fi fan, if I don't mention this, you might just stumble across it and watch it unprepared.

This is the single most cringeworthy, unpleasant, over the top, badly thought out pile of bantha poodu that has ever been committed to film. It ranks as one of mankind's worst crimes. It is the most soul destroying pile of tripe you'll ever see. It makes 'The Core' look good in comparison. People who have seen this have commented afterwards "Jar Jar wasn't that bad really..."

I know some people reading this will be thinking "Oh it can't be that bad. I'll watch it for myself and see."

Don't!

Every review of this I've seen says the same thing:

1. Don't watch this alone. You'll need emotional support.

2. Don't watch this sober. You'll need a buffer against the horror.

This TV special was made at possibly the worst time possible. Carrie Fisher was in the midst of a manic depressive low and Mark Hamill had just finished face reconstruction surgery after a car accident that almost killed him. As a result he looks like he's doing a bad Adam Ant impression.

And then Carrie Fisher starts singing.
To the Star Wars theme.

How bad can that be, you ask?

Put it this way. If she was singing on the Titanic while it sank and there was a choice between a two minute wait for a lifeboat seat or jumping into freezing cold water, I'd have taken a dive into the water, closely followed by all of the ship's rats.

Having seen this, against the advice of my friends, I can see why George Lucas tried to destroy every copy in existence. If he came round tomorrow asking for volunteers to round up the last few wild copies of this, I'd gladly sign up, even if it meant listening to the same damn Indiana Jones joke every night around the camp fire.

Can I say anything good about it? Probably not. It does foreshadow both Boba Fett's appearance and the ill fated (and now non-canon) Droids series. However, if you love Star Wars, please please never watch this. I know that's asking a lot, to take my word for it. But trust me, you'd thank me if you knew what I'm saving you from.

Score: Z - - The lowest score possible on the Saxon Film Score rating system

OQ: Make it stop!.....Make it stop!!!