G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra

I fear that Hasbro may be confused about who their core audience here is.  One of the adverts prior to the trailers was a cringe inducing advert for G.I. Joe toys, complete with that irritating American voice over man extolling the sound effects and "real firing missiles" of the toys.  However G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra is a 12A film, so there normally won't be that many kids in the audience who would be of the right age to be interested in action toys.  You show me a twelve year old kid still playing with action figures and I'll show you a kid whose going to be still living with his parents when he hits 30. 

Moving on.... 

It's great when a Hollywood studio turns a cherished cartoon from my youth into an action packed blockbuster, and it's even better when it actually works.  It's like the studio are saying "This is for you.  Just you Kevin.  This is to make up for having to get up early and all the rubbish Saturday morning television you sat through for this to come on, especially ITV who split these cartoons into two halfs and put twenty minutes of NOTHING in between the parts." 

I wouldn't say that G.I. Joe is a better summer blockbuster than Transformers 2 partly because it doesn't feature giant robots beating seven shades of hell out of each other, but mostly because Sienna Miller in a skin tight leather outfit does not trump Megan Fox running in slow motion.  I'm sorry, but there it is.  I'm not going to sugar-coat this fact. 

I will say that G.I. Joe is a very entertaining popcorn movie.  There's plenty of action and the explodey, hints of a love interest or two, couple of unexpected twists and some brilliantly outlandish fights.  The accelerator suit sequence you've seen in the trailer is particularly impressive.  The really odd thing is that for an action film that keeps jumping to do back story of the characters, it's easy to follow.  It's been put together really well. 

Christopher Eccleston's acting isn't nearly as distracting as I thought it would be based on the trailer.  And for a meglomanic evil super genius, his plot is actually fairly sensible. 


So, the only movies made from cartoon from my childhood left to do are M.A.S.K., Ulysses 31 and Mysterious Cities of Gold. 

Score:  B- 
Loses marks for a couple of pretty bad acting parts, and Christopher Eccleston's silly accent. 
Gains marks for the action sequences and the not-so-neat ending. 


OQ:  Knowing is half the battle.... 

Trailers: 

District-9:  The trailer for this is fantastic!  Really, just have a look for it online.  Amazing.