Star Trek: Insurrection

I feel like Popeye. I've taken all I can stand, and I can't stands no more!

Why does this film get the slagging off it's been given? Well, I'm going to come out and say it.

I sodding loved it!

What's not to like? Ever bad review I've read about this is patchy and skips over why the reviewer didn't like it. This is rather like a kid turning in his maths book with all the answers, but none of the working out. The phrase "just like a really long episode" is used a lot. To which my response has always been two-fold:

1. What did you expect, it's a movie based on a TV show!
2. Even if that's true, what's wrong with that? There have been some bloody outstanding Trek episodes that would looks great on the big screen (What You Leave Behind, the last two Deep Space Nine episodes jump to mind immediately).

Here's the problem: Insurrection followed the hugely successful First Contact. That's all that's wrong with it. People who say it's just another "radiation of the week story, like the TV show" have severely missed the point. I'll get to that in a minute. But first: the odd numbered theory.

Everyone knows this one: Odd numbered Trek films tend to be crap.

Balderdash! The perceived problem comes about from the fact that the even numbered films are intended for mass market, and the odd numbered ones are for the fans.

1. Star Trek: The Motion Picture The first one, V'Ger (huge cloud entity), Voyager 6, lots of shots ofthe Enterprise, Spock in a sulk, everyone wears grey pyjamas.
2. Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan Khan! The Genesis device, Reliant exploding, Carol Marcus, Kirk's son David, Spock dies.
3. Star Trek: The Search for Spock Kirk steals the Enterprise, Klingons, Genesis planet, David dies, Enterprise blows up, Kirk kicks Klingons ass, Spock's alive!
4. Star Trek: The Voyage Home Alien probe, worldwide power failure, huge storms, time travel, humpback whales, more time travel, Spocks swears a lot.
5. Star Trek: The Final Frontier Vulcan with a sense of humour, kidnapping, Kirk, Spock and McCoy camping, Enterprise hijacked, God, Row row row your boat.
6. Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country BANG! Klingons want peace, Kirk not happy, Chancellor assassinated, Kirk blamed, escape, shooty shooty, saves the day.
7. Star Trek: Generations Kirk dies! Star collapses, ultimate weapon, Nexus maguffin, Kirk's alive again, oops now he's dead, Enterprise crashes, Data swears
8. Star Trek: First Contact Those pesky Borg! Big fight, we win! Bugger, what's that? Time travel. Zephram Cochrane, warp flight, Vulcans, Borg queen dies
9. Star Trek: Insurrection Data goes berserk, Picard smells a rat, conspiracy! Radiation, holo ship, resistance, more fighting, the Riker manoeuvrer
10. Star Trek: Nemesis Romulans want peace, Data's other brother, Picard clone, ultimate weapon, bloody big ship, big fight, Data's dead (or is he?)

The Wrath of Khan was hugely successful. It drew in people who weren't Trek fans and hadn't seen the first movie or the TV show. Search for Spock is a great film about sacrifice, friendship, duty and honour. It's only problem was it followed Wrath of Khan, so people expected more of the same. Voyage Home was a comedy, and a bloody good one too. Because it was set in contemporary San Francisco, everyone could relate to it (it's still the most popular and highest grossing Trek film ever). Final Frontier was about family and the path not taken and was (in parts, not the whole thing) rather excellent. It gave whole new insight into the characters. It's also a beautifully shot film. Undiscovered Country was a political thriller, with space battles thrown in to boot, plus a great send off for the cast. Generations has no right to exist and is the only film that breaks my theory. I'd have liked this film a whole lot more if they'd just not cheaped out and re-used the bird of prey explosion from the previous film. First Contact was a horror/haunted house film, and was very successful. Insurrection followed this and was a more thinking type of film about the core of the Federation being ideologically attacked. Nemesis was back to big ships, big baddies and big fights.

Kevin's Odd Numbered Trek Film Theory: You see, Trek fans are very benevolent people. They want the rest of the world to appreciate the message in Star Trek, so every even numbered film is a film for everyone, mass entertainment if you will. And every odd numbered film is one just for the fans, revealing some insight into the characters or showing them in a new light. For Insurrection to work, you need to really understand the Federation, the non-interference policy and first contact procedure. Sure, they could have explained that in more depth in the film, but that would have been pandering to the audience. The whole story behind Insurrection is that the Federation is willing to abandon it's highest principle, non-interference of a society, just this once in order to get hold of something that will make all medicine obsolete. It's an extension of the old morality question: If you could kill one person to cure cancer, would you do it? What if it was 10 people? 100? 1000?

Picard fights them, because he knows it's wrong and that it is the start of a slippery slope. There's a similar story in Deep Space Nine, where Captain Sisko, one of the nicest people you'd ever meet, has to kill a Romulan official and frame the Dominion in order to get the Romulans to join the war. He knows that he can't win the war without their help, and he knows they're not going to join the fight until it's too late. The episode is great, as he's dictating his captain's log about the events, and at the end after he's poured his heart out about the betrayal of his most treasured principles, he orders the computer to erase the entire log entry.

Insurrection is about the principles you believe in and how far you'd go to defend them. And in this day and age, this film has more to say than ever.

So in short, as a general guide: If you're a huge raving Trekkie like me, then most of the films can be watched and enjoyed at some level. If you're not a huge raving Trekkie, I'd suggest sticking to the even numbered films. You'll enjoy them a whole lot more.

As a final note, this film has some of the best comedy one liners in any Trek film. They don't feel forced or out of place.

Score: B -

OQ:
Either:

Worf: Definitely feeling aggressive tendencies, sir!

or

Data: And have you noticed how your boobs have started to firm up? Not that we care about that in this.....

Trivia: And how's this for reality foreshadowing? The manual control column that Riker uses to steer the Enterprise is a modified Gravis Thunderbird PC joystick.