Superman Returns

Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's....

Kevin throwing his useless TV out the window. Bah!

To cheer myself up, I went to see Superman Returns. Yes, again.

I did miss the first 10 minutes, mainly because of a group of feckless morons, sorry I mean teenagers, who couldn't decide what flavour of popcorn to have, so I arrived in time to see Gertrude Vanderworth die. Not a great start, and I was peeved I'd missed the opening credits. Incidentally, Noel Neill who plays Gertrude played Lois Lane in the 1950s TV series. This was to be the first of many cameo appearances.

Brandon Routh pulls off the parts of both Clark and Superman very nicely. Like his predecessor, Christopher Reeve, he manages to look different as the two roles, unlike Dean Cain's Superman. How Teri Hatcher's Lois took 2 years (and a kiss) to figure out his secret identity still baffles me (ITV2 7pm Weeknights folks!). Here, I totally bought his bumbling Clark. He gives the impression that Clark is his normal persona and Superman is him being confident (as opposed to the source material which says he works very very hard to be Clark Kent).

Kate Bosworth does an able job as Lois. Too tied up in her own life and news stories to really pay attention to Clark, which he both loves and hates. (Loves because she won't guess his secret, but hates because he'd love her to notice him).

Kevin Spacey is superb as Lex Luthor.

And how could I miss that Richard White is Scott Summers (aka Cyclops)?!? Certainly helps explain what happens to poor Scott in X-Men 3.

And there are plenty of jokes and references to the original movie:

"Kitty, what was it my father said to me?"

Addis Ababa

Oh, and you think that image of Marlon Brando is just re-used footage? Pah! A fully formed CGI puppet based on his archive footage, coloured using his skin pigmentation and animated to slightly different dialogue (actually dialogue shot for Superman II, which couldn't be used because of a legal tussle, so his mother was put in the movie instead.)

Yes, I checked. It is Richard Branson in the shuttle. He even has a couple of lines! Watch for the beard, you can't miss it.

Overall, it's a great film. Ignore what the critics say. Go and see this on the BIG screen while you can!
You will believe a man can fly.
(But you won't believe that Lois didn't break any bones during the plane accident.)

Score: Well, I went to see it twice. What does that say?

OQ: "I hope this doesn't put any of you off flying. Statistically speaking, it's still the safest way to travel."

Trivia: (courtesy of our lovely friends at IMDB.com):

Bryan Singer makes a cameo as a reporter in the Daily Planet. Look for the guy who notices the tremor first.

Michael Dougherty & Dan Harris, the two writers of the screenplay, make an appearance as school kids making notes as Lex Luther arrives to steal the meteorite.

At the end of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Superman drops Lex Luthor off in jail and says "See you in 20". That film was made in 1986 (released 1987).

Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey signed on without having read the script.

Milliskin, a type of cloth, was used as the material of Superman's suit. Unfortunately, this cloth restricts movement when new. Worse, it sags after being worn and becoming comfortable. As a result, 80 suits, 100 capes, 30 boots and 90 belts were made. eBay anyone?

And this one is my favourite: When Bryan Singer became interested in possibly hiring Brandon Routh, he arranged for them to meet in a coffee shop. When they met at their table, Routh stumbled and spilled hot coffee all over the table. Although he panicked, thinking he had just lost the part, Singer laughed and said it actually helped him get the part. The incident convinced Singer that Routh could pull off the clumsy, bumbling Clark Kent.

Equilibrium

How come no-one's told me about this movie before? Why isn't it on a required viewing list for sci-fi fans? This movie is bloody excellent!

As you've probably guessed, I just saw this movie over the weekend. Can't remember which station broadcast it, but I don't remember any advert breaks. I humbly seek the forgiveness of Christian Bale. He's a far better actor than I gave him credit for.

Review for people who haven't seen it:

So, what is it?: It's a bit like THX 1138, in that the population is highly medicated to supress emotion. It's a bit like the Matrix, in that is boasts some of the best gun-fu I've seen in many a long year, except the bullet dodging is given a pseudo-scientific explanation (that actually makes sense, in a surprisingly refreshing change from the norm).

Basic story: In the future all emotions are outlawed, a drug that suppresses them is mandatory and the clerics enforce this law Judge Dredd style. Anything that can have an emotional memory attached (mementos, personal possessions, music, antiques, etc) are contraband and destroyed. Christian Bale plays a cleric who goes off his meds, and starts to like it. The rebels are trying to free themselves and the population from their drug induced prison.

There's a great bit of dialogue in the interrogation room that sums up why the rebels are fighting:

Cleric: I want to know who your friends are.
Rebel: Do you even know what a friend is?

OQ: I can't say it, because it's a rude word, but its the line immediately following:

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........

This film is a must see.

Review for people who have seen it:

Why haven't you told me about this movie?!? Score: B+

My DVD Sale Madness

Oooh...it's the summer DVD sales, where HMV and Virgin realise they'll have to shovel DVDs out the door in droves to make enough space for all the stuff they're going to be selling (at full price) come Christmas.

Or, as we call it in the Saxon house-hold: "I'm going Christmas shopping six months early! Do we need any milk?"

So, here's my short list of reviews:

Just Friends
Ok, this one was actually from the Play.com sale, but I laughed myself silly watching this at the cinema, and the DVD didn't disappoint. The extras include the usual deleted/extended scenes (including an Allanis Morrisette cameo) and the original ending (very different fro the cinematic one) It's laugh out loud funny, cringe-worthy and sentimental all at the same time.
Highlights include: Taser slapstick, the toothpaste scene, the ambulance sledge and the Volvo vs Christmas ornaments scene. Not one for anyone who's squeamish about their teeth, or has a dentist phobia. Personally, I only suffer from Acro-Chrometophobia. The fear of dropping something expensive from a great height.

OQ: And I swear. By the moon and stars and the sky.....

Paycheck £6.99
I remember this getting a panning when it came out, but I enjoyed it. Sure it's tripe, but it's entertaining tripe: still squidgy enough to use in a joke that you've just sneezed your brains out. The only thing that niggled me, in the whole movie, was in the final showdown. It was when Ben Afflick picked up the machine gun. I was quite happy for an engineer to use a pistol to shoot back, but when he picked that up, it crossed a line into "action-man movie". It would be like seeing Boba Fett running about on the deck of the Titanic: there's something not quite right there.
However, the rest of the film is excellent. Tight little thriller/action flick
DVD also features an alternate ending (not that different from the original one) and numerous deleted scenes, including one that was meant to show that the protagonist was building the machine to prevent accidents (he lost his wife and child). But I think the "screw this, I'm doing it for the money!" was a better motive so I can see why the scene was dropped.

OQ: That would be the Red Sox!

Total Recall £5.99
Paul Verhoeven is a hit or miss man, isn't he? This is a hit in my eyes. Yes, it's cheesier than the 407th Annual Cheese Festival in France, but it seems to acknowledge this. Space physics dodgier than the already dodgy looking prosthetics/makeup and lines delivered by people who look like they are having a huge bet on who can win cheesiest actor of the year award, but dag-nabbit it's fun to watch. And you know it's a classic if South Park parody it.

OQ: Start the reactor....

Batman £4.99
Batman! The original Tim Burton film! On it's own! For just a fiver! Get in! Sadly, no sign of Batman Returns yet. I was always annoyed that HMV had all four Batman films for about £14.99 each, but had a box set of all four for £26, because there ain't no way on this green earth that I'm paying to own Batman Forever or Batman and Robin.
For me, those later films fall into that whole Peter Cushing as Doctor Who area. I ignore them and pretend as hard as I can that they don't exist. A bit like the bogeyman¹.

OQ: Oh my god...

Apollo 13 £4.99
I reviewed this a short time ago, and I still like this movie. An excellent piece of work from god like director Ron Howard. OQ: The time when the astronauts should have emerged from blackout has come...and gone. And the Babylon 5 season 1 box set for £19.99. So just seasons 2 & 5 and my first TV series collection is complete. Well, apart from Firefly, but that wasn't difficult really.

¹It's too bad Humphrey Bogart is dead. It would have been such a great role to play tongue in cheek when he's hard up for some cash. Hot Shots, of course, already stole the best Bogart joke: "I've got a bogey on my tail!"

Over The Hedge

The best of a poor mix available at the cinema this weekend (well, after I eliminated everything I'd already seen).

I was actually pleasantly surprised. It was genuinely funny at times and kept my attention. Not too many jokes for the adults, but I still guffawaed through it.

Some odd voice casting though. Bruce Willis as the racoon I could understand, but William Shatner as the possum? And Avril Lavagne as his daughter?!?

Basic plot is given away in the trailer. A bunch of animals wake up from hibernation to find half their forest has been developed into suberbia. As usual, there's a subplot I won't go into, but the scene with the dog and the gas tank is comedy genius. And the hyper-active squirrel is hillarious.

There's possibly a message about wasteful humans and their eating habits in there, but it's unlikely the kids will pick up on this.

Only spoilt slightly by hearing that Bruce Willis was a bit of a jerk on the Radio 1 show interviewing him about it this morning. Still, it was 3am, so maybe he was entitled.

OQs:

"CORK?!?"

"Muhahaha!- Did I say that out loud?"

The Untouchables

What is it with this film that makes me want to watch it every time it's on TV?

Kevin Costner is superb as Ness. Sean Connery plays it straight for once, and forgoes the hair-piece¹. Andy Garcia is the crack shot rookie cop. But De Niro just steals the show as Capone. The scene with the baseball bat still makes me shudder, because he wasn't really punishing his lackie, he was making a point about the power he had.

This film is stylish with a capital ST.

There's plenty of fantastic camera work onshow here. I'm still trying to work out how they did the shot of the burglar entering Connery's pad. It's got to be a steady cam, but how did it fit? Steady cams are fairly big things. It hasn't dated much at all. OK, there are the odd shots where you can tell it's rear projection, etc. But on the whole, it's still a superbly good looking film. If it was a woman, it's be....well, it's be well out of my league so let's not go there....

It's hard to realise this comes from the same director (Brian De Palma) who gave us Scarface (hurrah), Carrie (woohoo) and Mission to Mars (er....).

Apparently there's a sequel in the offing.

Score: B+

OQ: There are too many: I can't do the quote here, but it's Andy Garcia swearing at Malone when they first meet, and Connery replies "Oh, I like him" The other is just before this, with the stuttering officer:

"To prto..to pro...to protect and s-serve."
"Alright, on you go. There goes the next chief of police."

"He's in the car..."

"1634 Racine. You know I used to have a friend who lived there..."

¹There's a rumour that his wig for The Hunt for Red October cost $20,000.^2
2No really, I'm not making that up.

The Da Vinci Code

Dang! Beaten to the punch by Parsons at work. Again!

Must strive to make my review different. I know! Change the font....

Right. The Da Vinci code.

Ignore what the film critics tell you about this film. They're wrong. Which means, ignore me, because I (like everyone here) am a critic, albeit for a small audience. Which means don't ignore me......

It's a strange name, given Da Vinci (and his work) feature only briefly at best. I hadn't read the book, and don't really intend to, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. This film is a lot darker than I was expecting, and I mean that in the literal sense. The film has less light in scenes that the trailers would have you believe. Tom Hanks' hair is nowhere near as distracting or annoying as I thought it would be. Maybe I was distracted by the lovely Audrey Tautou. Rowr....

The film starts with a murder and ends....well, I wouldn't want to spoil it for you. It does get a little sledge-hammery towards the end, but this is forgivable given the heavy (and rather wordy, by all accounts) nature of the source material.

The film is lovingly shot, which you'd expect from a Ron Howard movie. It also steals it's soundtrack from a previous movie. Again, something you'd expect from a Ron Howard movie. The soundtrack was a little too similar to National Treasure for my liking, and since they both feature references to the Knights Templar (and use quite similar flashbacks to their demise), I found I focused on this. That's just how my mind works though.

I think this movie suffers heavily from HarryPotter-ism. People who've read the book enjoy the film a lot less than those who haven't. I liked it.

Really?, you ask. Well, put it this way. I'm seriously tempted to go and see it again, and as you all know, I only do that with Star Trek movies, and the now infamous "Night Of Three Times" when I saw Galaxy Quest three times on the same day.

You'll enjoy it, as long as you accept it for what it is: a ripping yarn. It's not historical drama, it's a thriller. It's just, like all good thrillers, it's based on what could have happened.

I've also come to the conclusion that film critics don't know what the hell they're talking about. Which bodes badly for me, I guess....

OQ: '...s'il vous plait...'

Score: B+ It's a darn good movie, and I'll own it on DVD when it's available.

Trivia: As a piece of trivia, Paul Bettany was interviewed on Jonathan Ross and was how he felt working with Tom Hanks for the first time. "Well, the first day it was very nervous. I mean, he's never been in a Paul Bettany movie before..."

There is a small prize of 500 kudos for the first person to tell me how many words I've invented for the purpose of this review.

Mission Impossible 3

Bleugh!

That was pretty much my feeling for the film once I'd left. There's so much wrong with this movie, it's difficult to know where to start. But let's start with what's good with it.

It's better than MI2. This isn't really hard, as MI2 was the biggest pile of pants it's ever been my misfortune to sit through. It's better then MI1 as well, and as an action movie, it delivers. It's packed with action, stunts, breaking into places that are supposed to be impossible to break into. The usual stuff. It's very good on that, and if you can forgive it the plotholes and aren't a huge fan of the TV series, then I dare say you'll enjoy it.

The bad stuff: There's nothing new. Every piece looks tired and has a definite "seen it before" feel. Even the most action packed and exciting part, the ambush on the Florida Keyes bridges just smacks of the sequence from True Lies. There's just nothing original. And I feel cheated that we don't see how he steals the canister from the building.

The explosive charge in the head. Was it just me, or were other people expecting, I dunno....an explosion maybe? Zzzzapp and a head jerk?!? What a rip!

And the plotholes do annoy. Like breaking into the Vatican City. Where was the laser perimeter? The ultra-sonic detectors? The guard dogs? Hell, where were the ID badges? And looping the video! Talk about your cliché!

And the biggest plot point: the traitor in IMF. Every Mission Impossible film has had one of them. It's been the key turning point in all three movies. I just left thinking that IMF doesn't screen it's own agents before employing them.

I really wanted to like this film, given what people have said about it, I really did. And don't get me wrong, it is the best of the Mission Impossible films. But I'm a fan of the original TV series, and while I appreciate you can't translate it directly to the big screen (it would be unrealistic for Tom Cruise not to fire a single shot during the movie), I just don't feel it captured the feel of the show. The "big reveal" is missing, the use of the face masks has become a parody of itself and cutting between the characters while they work on a mission and having them say "30 seconds to bravo two" is NOT the same thing as seeing that chap who was always stuck in an air-duct, sitting in an air-duct fiddling with electronics and having to wait 15 minutes into the episode to know what the hell he's doing and why.

It's kind of like the difference between Murder, She Wrote and Columbo, I guess. Both from the same genre (same creators, actually) but they take radically different ways to tell similar stories.

Also, on a related topic: I have come to the conclusion that 12A certificates should be withdrawn and the 12 put back. There was a 7 and 4 year old watching this movie with their grannies, and anyone who's seen it will know why that's a worrying thing.

Score: C-

OQ: I honestly can't remember any.